I regularly am befuddled on the average American's view on money for numerous reasons. But the two cases that stand out to me are as follows:
1. They are always broke and cannot live a happy life. Their lack of money stresses them out daily and causes them to have to wonder where they will live or how they might eat the next day/month. Sometimes the situation is not quite so dire but even then there is constant stress on how to ever save for a down payment for a house, or how to get a car when their current vehicle kicks the bucket.
Now, there are people in these financial straits with good reason - illness, divorce (a sort of good reason), or a dead beat ex spouse who doesn't pay child support etc etc. My heart goes out to those people. Unfortunately, more often than not, those reasons are not the reason for such financial hardship.
So many people talk to me about stress over money, and then eat out constantly, get tattoos, buy flat screen TV's....When I explain to them that to have peace of mind you have to make sacrifices in terms of material goods, well, no one likes me. I try not to preach, so now, I try to just avoid the conversation altogether. The problem comes in when people ask me for help! It's a hard balance to give real advice that people might actually follow....but I guess the following part is on them, right?
A great example of this is a close friend of mine - a man in his fifties. He doesn't own a home and really has no assets to speak of whatsoever. I have attempted to get him to get his ducks in a row before, but so far, no dice. His work is very physically demanding and he already has had one heart attack. During that time, he had to borrow money from friends (including me) to survive. He has no health insurance, no retirement plan...nothing. When I ask him why he felt the need to buy new speakers the other day, his response was "God provides for me." Oh man.
Now, I'm not going to even touch the religious side of that statement...but on the practical side, why is it God's job to manage your finances? He may have a part in your health, and helping you find work, but in my opinion, whether you save or squander your resources, well that's all free will, baby.
When I ask about what he will do when he is too old to work...his response was "I plan on dying on the job." I hope that plan works out for you buddy, because if not, life could get way worse.
Now, if he's happy and has managed to scrape by through life to this point, and this doesn't bother him, then who am I to say that it's wrong? But, I worry. I worry for everyone in this situation.
This brings us to example 2. Now, these people I don't worry about at all..I just don't understand them. (I'm probably the weird one, not them.) Yesterday, I went to lunch with a woman I adore. She is in her 40's and has had a long and successful career. She is married with no children and her husband also has done well. I can't say that they are loaded but I'd imagine that they are more than comfortable. Now, this lovely lady, HATED her job. She never admitted directly but I'm pretty sure she was miserable. And technically speaking, she didn't have golden handcuffs. She could afford to not be employed. Recently, blessing or not (this is still TBD), she was laid off from her job. She did receive severance, so for a few months, she can blissfully be paid to lay in the sun, work out etc.
I asked her what her next move was going to be. She told me very honestly that she wasn't sure yet. She also said that she really didn't want to go back to work at an 8 to 5 job for someone else who may or may not treat you like crap. (I didn't blame her, obviously.)
I said "Great! Are you going to do volunteer work? enjoy being a house wife? turn into a lady or leisure?"
Her smile faded a bit and she said "Well to live the lifestyle of spending I'm accustomed to I have to go back to work."
I asked her very openly "What's more important, freedom and your apparent (just looking at her you could see it) new found stress free happiness or going shopping?"
She said she didn't know yet.
Now, there is no judgment from me here. If you want pretty, shiny things, and you're willing to work for them, more power to you. I don't get it, but more power to you all the same. For me, personally, there is no material good, Louis Vuitton or otherwise, that I would not trade for a healthy emergency fund. I guess I'm wired differently than most, but the freedom and peace of mind that comes from never having to think of how I'll pay my bills is priceless. If my boss is a jerk, I have no golden handcuffs. I can happily tell him to "go to hell!" and walk. That's worth a lot to me.
I hope my friend chooses a stress free life even if it means buying less shoes. Or maybe, she can live the dream and find something she loves to do that still allows her lots of discretionary income...wouldn't that be nice for everyone??
1. They are always broke and cannot live a happy life. Their lack of money stresses them out daily and causes them to have to wonder where they will live or how they might eat the next day/month. Sometimes the situation is not quite so dire but even then there is constant stress on how to ever save for a down payment for a house, or how to get a car when their current vehicle kicks the bucket.
Now, there are people in these financial straits with good reason - illness, divorce (a sort of good reason), or a dead beat ex spouse who doesn't pay child support etc etc. My heart goes out to those people. Unfortunately, more often than not, those reasons are not the reason for such financial hardship.
So many people talk to me about stress over money, and then eat out constantly, get tattoos, buy flat screen TV's....When I explain to them that to have peace of mind you have to make sacrifices in terms of material goods, well, no one likes me. I try not to preach, so now, I try to just avoid the conversation altogether. The problem comes in when people ask me for help! It's a hard balance to give real advice that people might actually follow....but I guess the following part is on them, right?
A great example of this is a close friend of mine - a man in his fifties. He doesn't own a home and really has no assets to speak of whatsoever. I have attempted to get him to get his ducks in a row before, but so far, no dice. His work is very physically demanding and he already has had one heart attack. During that time, he had to borrow money from friends (including me) to survive. He has no health insurance, no retirement plan...nothing. When I ask him why he felt the need to buy new speakers the other day, his response was "God provides for me." Oh man.
Now, I'm not going to even touch the religious side of that statement...but on the practical side, why is it God's job to manage your finances? He may have a part in your health, and helping you find work, but in my opinion, whether you save or squander your resources, well that's all free will, baby.
When I ask about what he will do when he is too old to work...his response was "I plan on dying on the job." I hope that plan works out for you buddy, because if not, life could get way worse.
Now, if he's happy and has managed to scrape by through life to this point, and this doesn't bother him, then who am I to say that it's wrong? But, I worry. I worry for everyone in this situation.
This brings us to example 2. Now, these people I don't worry about at all..I just don't understand them. (I'm probably the weird one, not them.) Yesterday, I went to lunch with a woman I adore. She is in her 40's and has had a long and successful career. She is married with no children and her husband also has done well. I can't say that they are loaded but I'd imagine that they are more than comfortable. Now, this lovely lady, HATED her job. She never admitted directly but I'm pretty sure she was miserable. And technically speaking, she didn't have golden handcuffs. She could afford to not be employed. Recently, blessing or not (this is still TBD), she was laid off from her job. She did receive severance, so for a few months, she can blissfully be paid to lay in the sun, work out etc.
I asked her what her next move was going to be. She told me very honestly that she wasn't sure yet. She also said that she really didn't want to go back to work at an 8 to 5 job for someone else who may or may not treat you like crap. (I didn't blame her, obviously.)
I said "Great! Are you going to do volunteer work? enjoy being a house wife? turn into a lady or leisure?"
Her smile faded a bit and she said "Well to live the lifestyle of spending I'm accustomed to I have to go back to work."
I asked her very openly "What's more important, freedom and your apparent (just looking at her you could see it) new found stress free happiness or going shopping?"
She said she didn't know yet.
Now, there is no judgment from me here. If you want pretty, shiny things, and you're willing to work for them, more power to you. I don't get it, but more power to you all the same. For me, personally, there is no material good, Louis Vuitton or otherwise, that I would not trade for a healthy emergency fund. I guess I'm wired differently than most, but the freedom and peace of mind that comes from never having to think of how I'll pay my bills is priceless. If my boss is a jerk, I have no golden handcuffs. I can happily tell him to "go to hell!" and walk. That's worth a lot to me.
I hope my friend chooses a stress free life even if it means buying less shoes. Or maybe, she can live the dream and find something she loves to do that still allows her lots of discretionary income...wouldn't that be nice for everyone??
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