Knowing when to say no

So, one of my biggest faults has always been an inability to say no.  I just suck at it.  And while I think saying yes (more often than not) is a powerful and great thing, as an (almost) 29 year old woman, I need to know how to graciously turn someone/something down.

This becomes even more important when you are a freelance consultant.  All work is not created equal by any means! And there is an opportunity cost that comes from each job I take.  If I am working, I don't have the time to be looking for new jobs (that might be better) and the time versus money debate is important to me.

So far, I have liked (or at the minimum learned from) all of my freelance work. I've met a lot of new people and tried things that were out of my comfort zone.  None of this has been mind blowing but I feel like it has been worthwhile.

This week, for the first time, I turned down a rather lucrative consulting gig.  This was hard because it met many of my criteria - good money, flexible hours, home office, a cause I could support - but here was the rub - I didn't like the people.  They were disorganized.  It didn't seem like their heart was in it and the main guy, well, he's not the nicest person.  So, I turned it down.

I turned it down not just because I didn't like the people but also because saying yes to that job might mean saying no to something better.  It's a roll of the dice for sure, but I'm pretty confident I made the right choice.

Time

I am a person that is meant to be busy.  I'm not supposed to have a lot of free time.  I am very good at finding things to do with myself for the most part but occasionally, I simply run out of tasks. (like.right.now.)  It is currently 9:46 a.m. and I have already completed almost everything I need to do for the day.  Now, I'm sure I'll work on some things I don't need to do but there is a lot of day left to fill....

These are the times that I am slightly jealous of my multitudes of friends who can throw on some sweats, turn on Sex and the City, and veg for hours.  That's just not me.  I am not great at watching tv at all.  While I enjoy it, 95% of the time I'd like to be doing something else while watching it...(This drives Jayson crazy so I've done my best to learn to just sit, watch and relax.)

So, what do other people do with themselves when they have time/energy to burn?  Normally, I plan events, work on charity stuff, work out etc etc.  I can still do some of that but again, it's not yet 10 a.m. and I can't work out until dinner time.

Normally, my to do list is long and there is great joy in marking things off of it one at a time.  I guess I've just gotten through most of it magically! You'd think this would be a good thing....crazy, crazy girl, I am.

Wish me luck world.  I need to go tackle something now....

Grateful

Over the past few weeks, I have been lucky enough to see some of my favorite women from college. These women are smart, passionate, interesting girls who are all doing incredible things with their lives, both personally and in their careers. I am incredibly grateful to have so many great women in my life. 

Despite everyone successes, however, I'm grateful for another thing too. When I talk to all of these girls at the various bachelorette parties I've been attending, one things come out over and over again.  My friends are tired. Not all of them, but most of them. They work 60 hours a week. They go to school part time and work full time. They have more cases and depositions and business travel then sometimes they can handle. While I think most of them are happy, they admittedly do not all have a good work-life balance. 

I won't say that I've taken my newfound freedom for granted. I cherish my work-life balance and the fact that the life is the bigger part of that balance every day. But I will say that I think I may have begun to forget how different my life was. 

My girlfriend was describing how getting away for the weekend is almost a chore. That often all she does is rest, play with her dog, and hang out on the couch on the weekends because she just has to have that quiet time. She still enjoys wine and she still likes to go out but she said she doesn't do it often.

I remember that feeling. I remember being so tired that on the weekend, I didn't want to go play. Now I can take a Friday off to go out of town without a moment's hesitation.  Being able to sleep in a bit on Monday to rest up from such a long weekend, that's also fine. So while I may not think everything in my career is perfect, I do appreciate the freedom that this new life has afforded me. 

They say the grass is always greener on the other side and sometimes that's true, but, in this case, I think my grass is pretty green.

Mentor 1

Things I've learned from my mentors:

Over the years, I've been lucky enough to have a wide variety of strong and caring female (and male, from time to time) mentors. I've learned from them on lots of different issues, but the common theme from them all had been to just believe in myself.

My first real mentor (other than my mother, of course, who has mentored me since birth) was a professor in my business school. I took my first marketing class with her at age nineteen and was immediately and forevermore hooked. I found the psychology behind decision making fascinating and loved the enthusiasm she brought to every lecture. 

Over time, we built a friendship and later she asked me to work for her on some of her academic studies. I enjoyed the research side an incredible amount and felt like I learned from her every time we met in some way. She always took the time to ask me how life was and to talk to me about my plans for the future. It was because of her that I even considered applying for my MBA.  She always pushed me to go for things out of my comfort zone - whatever they may be - and basically always taught me not to let fear hold me back. 

A few years after graduation, I called her to get some advice on work drama. I was up for a very large promotion which was great, but it was for a position that I had no experience with. I honestly wasn't sure if I could do it and agonized over the decision. A very large part of me wanted to just stay in my current, cushy, safe job (where I was very happy). After a five minute conversation where we outlined the pros and cons, she summarized her thoughts into two statements:

One. If everyone likes you, you probably aren't doing your job.

Two. You are Amanda f*$@$@ Moore. Of course, you can do this new job.

I felt a bit silly doubting myself after hearing my mentor (who rarely curses btw) say that.

Needless to say, I took the new job and while it wasn't always sunshine and roses, it was a great experience that opened a lot of doors for my future success.

I love that woman.