Sometimes, the best way to describe me is...a little ball of anger.
I think this would generally surprise my friends and that most of them would disagree with me immediately...but they would be wrong. This is for two reasons. One. I am generally an upbeat and supportive person. Two. I'm very good (possibly too good) at hiding (or at the very least heavily downplaying) when things are wrong.
Now, in all fairness, this hasn't been the best year for lots of reasons that have nothing to do with my semi-retirement. I've lost a close family member and another has been diagnosed with Stage 4 cancer all in the last few months. This has taken a massive toll on myself and my mother (who is my rock.) (It is truly the worst feeling in the world to see your mother cry isn't it?) So, anyways, maybe with all this personal turmoil, my patience level has dipped a bit recently.
With all that said, I really can't handle a lot of things anymore. Mainly, when adults don't act like adults. I feel that I am a generous person. I go out of my way to help people - babysitting your kids, editing your resume and helping you job search, researching suppliers for your new business (for free), buying you a lunch just because, helping you move....you name it. I do this because I want to and I don't think I get a cookie for it or anything. I'm just saying that I put effort into trying to be a good friend to people I care about. I also feel like my significant other and I are generous with our businesses.
When someone we know well is in a jam and need a place to live, we do our best to find them a solution (even if its inconvenient and not as much rental income) through our rental business. If an employee needs an advance in pay, it is sometimes (probably too often) granted. I am well aware that these are decisions we make and take responsibility for that decision. I know that it won't always work out right when we take on that risk. But, good lord, have mercy, can people start taking any responsibility for themselves? I am sick and tired of feeling like my generosity is taken advantage of! The excuses I hear are many (and rarely are they good!)
Recently, two things in particular have angered me to my core. One. A guy who we will call Ike needed a place to live for him, his girlfriend and her child. They were currently living day to day in a hotel and were fairly desperate. Ike has been a good employee for a long time and is a nice guy. I felt bad for him. I had tenants moving out of a property later that week. I helped those tenants move to hurry them up. I then had my maintenance crew work weekends and overtime to get the house ready. I didn't charge Ike the first month's rent and security deposit because he couldn't come up with it before moving in. (Yeah, that's my fault.) After all of that, Ike and the girl start fighting constantly. He starts calling me about needing her taken off the lease...drama drama. Then before the first month is even out, he decides they can't afford the property and leaves it ....with all their shit still in it. I call him and tell him, I can't get rid of his stuff legally and that he has to remove it or sign a formal termination of lease and release of all possessions. His initial response was "Just throw it away. I'm over the whole situation." So now it was my job to move out his crap? Seriously? But guess what...that's exactly what happened. So he still owes money, and I got to move him out. Shame on me for being a good person?
Two. We started a company with someone we will call Seth. Seth was so excited to have his dream realized of his own store in an industry he was passionate about. We have given Seth every opportunity to make this successful. He gets a weekly salary, free legal and accounting (the company isn't charged for any of this.) What does he do? He spends all the company's money on personal crap...repeatedly...even after we talked to him about it and he apologized for it...he does it again. The problem is that this product cannot be tracked via a POS system exactly so he could sell under the table and we'd have no way of knowing if we take away his company card. So now we're paying for him to go to dinner at Hooters? No, I don't think so. I want to kick him in the face. Does he not realize that this is straight stealing? He really doesn't get it and it makes my heart so sad. When Seth needed a place to stay, he stayed in my guest room. He's eaten meals at my table and drank beer from my fridge. When he needed help and called me, I immediately got him whatever he needed. And this is how we are repaid...repeatedly.
Maybe we help the wrong people? Maybe I just shouldn't help people out? I don't want to close my heart off to people in need but the recent two events have made it very difficult not to. These things happen all over though...even in the more professional settings where you wouldn't think someone would/could take advantage...well they do from time to time.
In the past it's been easy to brush my shoulders off but yesterday, frankly, I was ready to take somebody out for being a horrible human being.
Today is another day though. And, let's be honest, I'll keep giving because I don't know how to stop.
I think this would generally surprise my friends and that most of them would disagree with me immediately...but they would be wrong. This is for two reasons. One. I am generally an upbeat and supportive person. Two. I'm very good (possibly too good) at hiding (or at the very least heavily downplaying) when things are wrong.
Now, in all fairness, this hasn't been the best year for lots of reasons that have nothing to do with my semi-retirement. I've lost a close family member and another has been diagnosed with Stage 4 cancer all in the last few months. This has taken a massive toll on myself and my mother (who is my rock.) (It is truly the worst feeling in the world to see your mother cry isn't it?) So, anyways, maybe with all this personal turmoil, my patience level has dipped a bit recently.
With all that said, I really can't handle a lot of things anymore. Mainly, when adults don't act like adults. I feel that I am a generous person. I go out of my way to help people - babysitting your kids, editing your resume and helping you job search, researching suppliers for your new business (for free), buying you a lunch just because, helping you move....you name it. I do this because I want to and I don't think I get a cookie for it or anything. I'm just saying that I put effort into trying to be a good friend to people I care about. I also feel like my significant other and I are generous with our businesses.
When someone we know well is in a jam and need a place to live, we do our best to find them a solution (even if its inconvenient and not as much rental income) through our rental business. If an employee needs an advance in pay, it is sometimes (probably too often) granted. I am well aware that these are decisions we make and take responsibility for that decision. I know that it won't always work out right when we take on that risk. But, good lord, have mercy, can people start taking any responsibility for themselves? I am sick and tired of feeling like my generosity is taken advantage of! The excuses I hear are many (and rarely are they good!)
Recently, two things in particular have angered me to my core. One. A guy who we will call Ike needed a place to live for him, his girlfriend and her child. They were currently living day to day in a hotel and were fairly desperate. Ike has been a good employee for a long time and is a nice guy. I felt bad for him. I had tenants moving out of a property later that week. I helped those tenants move to hurry them up. I then had my maintenance crew work weekends and overtime to get the house ready. I didn't charge Ike the first month's rent and security deposit because he couldn't come up with it before moving in. (Yeah, that's my fault.) After all of that, Ike and the girl start fighting constantly. He starts calling me about needing her taken off the lease...drama drama. Then before the first month is even out, he decides they can't afford the property and leaves it ....with all their shit still in it. I call him and tell him, I can't get rid of his stuff legally and that he has to remove it or sign a formal termination of lease and release of all possessions. His initial response was "Just throw it away. I'm over the whole situation." So now it was my job to move out his crap? Seriously? But guess what...that's exactly what happened. So he still owes money, and I got to move him out. Shame on me for being a good person?
Two. We started a company with someone we will call Seth. Seth was so excited to have his dream realized of his own store in an industry he was passionate about. We have given Seth every opportunity to make this successful. He gets a weekly salary, free legal and accounting (the company isn't charged for any of this.) What does he do? He spends all the company's money on personal crap...repeatedly...even after we talked to him about it and he apologized for it...he does it again. The problem is that this product cannot be tracked via a POS system exactly so he could sell under the table and we'd have no way of knowing if we take away his company card. So now we're paying for him to go to dinner at Hooters? No, I don't think so. I want to kick him in the face. Does he not realize that this is straight stealing? He really doesn't get it and it makes my heart so sad. When Seth needed a place to stay, he stayed in my guest room. He's eaten meals at my table and drank beer from my fridge. When he needed help and called me, I immediately got him whatever he needed. And this is how we are repaid...repeatedly.
Maybe we help the wrong people? Maybe I just shouldn't help people out? I don't want to close my heart off to people in need but the recent two events have made it very difficult not to. These things happen all over though...even in the more professional settings where you wouldn't think someone would/could take advantage...well they do from time to time.
In the past it's been easy to brush my shoulders off but yesterday, frankly, I was ready to take somebody out for being a horrible human being.
Today is another day though. And, let's be honest, I'll keep giving because I don't know how to stop.
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